Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Things You Don't Know About Me Unless You Are Married to Me

For some reason, the combination of cut and styling products result in me having fantabulous bed-head. I mean, Mad Scientist. Not all all "Hey, You Just Woke Up Next to Jennifer Aniston and isn't Her Toussled Head Sexy?!" I mean Einstein. Bride of Frankenstein. The good news? It "finger combs" quite nicely so it is presentable by the time my feet hit the floor.

I'm less thin than I look in person. Photos capture how I really am, but if you see me in person, I have it all contained and packaged in a way that it doesn't look too shabby. If there were a way to make this show in photos, I would bottle it and sell it.

I am so conservative that I am liberal. I am so opposed to the federal government that I think a lot of thing should be legal that usually only "the Left" thinks should be legal. Or maybe not "legal" so much as the government should have no opinion.

I don't believe in running. I wouldn't run if the house was on fire. If someone comes after me with a gun or a knife or a bat, I am going down. I. Hate. Running. I barely even tolerate walking. I admire all my friends who run and who claim they get some kind of "high" out of it. Thanks, but I'll just go shopping (at a nice LEISURELY PACE) for my good endorphins.

My confession about Happy Christmas(War Is Over) reminded me of the rest of the songs or things I misheard for years, which you also didn't know about me.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game:
Being that I was born in Chicago, we always sang this as "for it's root, root, root for the Cubbies." I'm not sure exactly why since I was born in Oak Lawn and therefore was not capable of being a Northside fan. Anyway, the line after that is, of course, "if they don't win, it's a shame." Until embarassingly recently, I thought it was, "if they don't win, it's the same."
I'm sure you can understand why I didn't realize that was wrong since it's obviously NOT wrong!

Sealing Wax:
Honest to goodness, I thought this was ceiling wax. I figured that they somehow got double use out of it in the Victorian era and not only sealed their correspondance but also made lovely sculpted ceiling decor with it. You know, like a Victorian version of the popcorn ceilings of the 1970's.

That's all I can think of for now. I know, nothing earth-shattering here. But now you know!

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