Sunday, September 6, 2009

One Friend, Two Friend, Red Friend, Blue Friend

I have been thinking a lot lately about Facebook and the weirdness that FB relationships can be.

I've been lucky - nothing really "bad" has happened to me through FB. I haven't dredged up any old feuds or started any serious new ones (just a little friendly banter now and then!) I haven't gone searching for old loves or anything that could have a lot of baggage. I actually do know all but maybe two of my "friends" and I keep meaning to delete the two I didn't know. They are just Mafia Wars family.

I have connected to an author or two whom I admire. Found an old teacher or two. Added a coworker or four. Built an additional connection to my closest circle of sisterwives.

The odd thing, though, is wondering if I would really even HAVE some of these friendships were it not for FB. Do they really exist outside FB? If I delete my page tomorrow, will we still keep in touch?

I had dinner last week with a friend I reconnected with through FB and with his wife who is a subsequent FB friend. As we talked, the question of when we last were in touch came up. Our best guess is sometime in 1993. I considered him a very good friend at the time and yet we fell out of touch 16 years ago. So was it REALLY that good of a friendship and I am just supremely lazy about keeping in touch (see my previous blog where I mention my love of sloth.....)? Or was it just a high school friendship that ran its course and that's it?

I tend to think it's the former. I enjoyed my friend's company at dinner as much as I ever did in the past and his wife is really neat gal. She's someone I would definitely want to build a friendship with if they lived in the area. And I like them as a couple - they are good together.

I have reconnected with high school acquaintances, only to find now that they are people I wouldn't feel weird calling "friends" now. It's too bad those friendships couldn't have been deeper in high school. I guess maybe we were just too wrapped up in our own skin to make that connection, but I'm glad we've had the second chance.

Only one disappointment - that my partner in politics in high school has gone over to the dark side (he's the "blue" friend in the title!). But I can forgive him as his heart is truly compassionate and we really want many of the same things in this world, albeit via different routes. It's neat to see where he is now, on many levels, this many years later.

And finally, family..... To be honest with you, I'd have little clue what is going on in my family and extended family if it weren't for FB. I love my cousins, but what are the odds that with her four kids and his work and wife that we'd really talk that much on the phone? But I can find out within a minute or two what they did with their weekend, how their kids are growing, etc.

All in all, it is working for me and working well. I don't think I'm really to "tweet" any time soon, but I'll hopefully add one friend or two friends, red friends and blue friends.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with you on so many levels regarding FB. I'm so happy to reconnect with some people but as my husband is all to happy to point out, if I really wanted to talk to these people, I should have picked up a phone. But he's anti-FB so I don't take his opinion on this matter very serious!

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